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A New School Year

August 22, 2011

Note:  I could be a little unconventional in the classroom when I was teaching.  I worried that one day I would push my luck too far and manage to get my name in the papers for all the wrong reasons.  I do want to thank all the students I had who let me get away with it (though I still wonder what some of you said behind my back!)  Anyway, I’m going to try to NOT push any limits here.  (I hope the parents out there who read this will appreciate that.)

A new school year is starting in my former district tomorrow.  I’m sure that there are some things you guys (that’s you students) are looking forward to; seeing old friends, getting to wake up early, riding a bus, and of course eating those wonderful school lunches.  You can also look forward to locker combinations that don’t work, carrying 20 lbs. of books and supplies around until your locker combinations do work, putting up with all those first days of school rituals, getting textbooks that are potentially big and scary, and meeting teachers whose sole purpose seems to be to make your life miserable for the next school year.  Oh, and I almost forgot, homework, tests, grades, presentations, and a host of other work.

So I’m trying to be a little funny.  Give me a break.

The thing is, school is a big part of what shapes you, and it’s up to you to make that work for you.  So, to make this simple I’m going to list a few things I think may help:

  1. First off, understand that those boring first day rituals are as big a pain in the — for the teachers as they are for you.
  2. The teachers I started out thinking were going to be the meanest usually ended up being my favorite.
  3. Eventually your locker will work and teachers truly don’t mind helping you.
  4. Most (hopefully all) teachers want you to succeed.
  5. The stranger you’re forced to sit next to could become the best friend you ever have.
  6. The stranger you’re forced to sit next to could become your next big crush.
  7. The book that looked so scary at first will (hopefully) become a lot less intimidating if not enjoyable.
  8. There’s a possibility that you might even experience some things that will make you actually want to learn more.  (Hey, I’m a teacher, I can always hope.)

School can also shape your character in ways that have nothing to do with academics.  That shaping is completely in your hands.  Here are just some of the things you can do to build that character that I’m talking about:

  1. Remember that bullies are pathetic.  A truly strong person doesn’t have to bully.  A person who really feels good about themselves would NEVER bully someone else (they don’t have to.)    If you are friends with a bully let them know just how their actions make them look.  And, if you see someone being bullied let them know that they are the better/stronger person.  STAND UP and be a part of the solution.
  2. Your classroom, desk, cafeteria, and BATHROOMS are there for you.  Don’t screw them up!  I will never understand why some of you think that f-ing with the student bathrooms is cool.  The only people who use them are you guys!  If you’ve got to go, then the last thing you want to see is a toilet with a brand new roll of toilet paper in it, (or any other large object that will prevent flushing.)  You may feel compelled to check out your own poop but seriously, forcing others to see it is just wrong.
  3. Remember that it is in your best interest to make your teachers like you.  (I may piss some adults off with this one but hey, I’m writing this for you students.)  It’s just as important, if not more so, for your teachers to like you as it is for you to like your teachers.  This is truly a good life lesson to learn.  At this time in your life, school is your JOB.  The teacher is in the role of your boss, you the employee.  Learning how to work this system will make it easier to eventually learn how to succeed in your career, or any job you eventually have.  Trust me here.  You WILL have a boss you don’t like.  You will be asked to do things at work that you think are stupid.  Learning how to get through that now is a lot less painful than when you actually are out in the real world (and the consequences are not nearly as hazardous to your wellbeing.)
  4. Finally, getting good grades will make you feel good.  Getting a good grade is like getting a raise.  It can make you feel powerful.  So, work at making good grades not just for your parents and teachers.  Do it for YOU!  Oh, and by good grades I don’t always mean A’s.  Sometimes B’s and even C’s can make you feel pretty good too.  School wouldn’t do you much good if it was all easy.

In the coming year you will experience good and bad times.  You will make new friends and you may lose some old ones (especially you girls.) You will probably fall in love at least once, and possibly get your heart broken or break a heart but don’t worry, you’ll fall in love again.  You may do some things that embarrass you but trust me, you’ll get through it.

Finally: Remember, you are only a teenager for seven short years.  You’ll be an adult for a lot longer.  Don’t screw up now and mess up all the great years you have to come.

Love you guys,
Ms. Bliz

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Relationships and the mistakes we make.

February 24, 2010

I believe that one of the hardest things in a relationship is not listening to what the other person says, but understanding what is being said without preconceptions. Our personalities are, at least partially, developed through experience. Those experiences are our’s alone, and though they may be similar to other’s, the way we take them in is unique to us. That was made even more evident to me after I was prescribed a medication that affected my personality. I was having some problems with circulation and nerve pain and my doctor prescribe a medication in the hopes that it would ease some of this. Instead, it only seemed to make me expect the worse. I felt angry and defensive all the time. Simple comments could set me off and then stick with me. After a week of taking this medicine, I called my doctor’s office and asked if I could stop taking the medicine. The nurse told me to stop immediately and went on to say that this was a common side effect. I stopped taking the pills, and within a week was feeling much more like my old self. I wish that I could do the same thing with some of my other emotional hangups just as easily.

My mother pushed me to succeed by throwing my failures in my face constantly. Her expectation were suppose to be my expectations. If my goals did not follow along with her’s, then they weren’t good enough. I accepted what she said literally and began to believe that I was a failure. If I didn’t keep my room clean then I was lazy and I accepted that label as a personal fault, not just as her means of making me do more. I have been over weight most of my life. With the help of our society, this has become a character flaw, not just a lifestyle. The way I internalized it as an over weight child was that I wasn’t good enough. My weight became a factor in how I “heard” others. “Let’s go get a salad.” became “You should just get a salad.” “Are you going to eat all of that?” became; “Please tell me you’re not going to eat all of that.” For a person who had not experienced the emotions I had in being an over weight child, those two statements would be taken in a very different way.

Relationships involve two people with unique life experiences. The way those experiences shape our personalities can undermind the level of success in our relationships with others. A spouse, or someone who is significant in our lives, can say something that hurts our feelings. In so many of those cases, we take it personally and can let it fester. We get angry, feel bad, feel like a failure. Unfortunately we seldom try to explain those feelings, instead, we simply build on them. The person who has said the things that have hurt us may mean something entirely different and as a result are baffled by our reaction. Here are some examples:

“Should we get a half order of potato skins?” May simply be a question, not a reference on how much you eat.

“Let me help.” May be a simple offer, not an indication that the person offering doesn’t think you’re smart enough to do it yourself.

“Let’s go for a walk.” May mean that the person just wants to spend time with you, not that YOU NEED to EXERCISE!

Don’t even get me started with those dating lines!

Ok, I’ve really focused on primarily how girls feel but I’m sure that guys have some of the same issues. But, since I am a girl and I can understand me better than you guys I’m going to add a few more examples:

“Will you do the laundry?” means will you wash, dry, fold, and put up the clothes. I doesn’t mean will you turn on a machine.

When a man says “I did the dishes.” and expects to be rewarded for it. He needs to understand that putting dishes into a dishwasher and leaving all the pans in the sink, does not constitute “doing the dishes.”

“I’ve looked everywhere!” includes moving objects and looking under them.

Okay, I am trying for a laugh here but these types of things can cause a lot of discord in a relationship too. Men may really believe that if they put clothes in the washing machine and start the wash cycle, they are “doing the laundry.” To a man, maybe “dishes” only include plates, and glasses.

We need to get past our reactions by interacting. It’s not always easy and it may not always turn out the way we want, but hopefully we’ll avoid a lot of pain, anger, and low self esteem. And maybe, if we’re really lucky, we’ll learn to respect and accept our differences for what they really are

Is our Society Creating Monsters

November 2, 2009

Are we as a society so busy trying to make our children feel good about themselves that we’re creating monsters?  Last week during a school dance ten or more young men raped and brutalized a 15 year old girl for more than two hours while another dozen or so people watched.  The blame for this brutality is being spread pretty thin.  The school is to blame for not monitoring outside of the dance area.  “Gang mentality” caused these young men to rape and beat this young girl and allowed the others to watch.  Even the young girl herself is to blame since she should not have been there (outside the dance) in the first place.  I am sick of the excuses!  The school didn’t force any of those young men to pull down their pants and rape that girl.  The first guy who attacked her didn’t push the next guy on top of her.  Finally, the kids who stood and watched were not bound by any barriers that stopped them from going for help, or even simply leaving.  No, the blame lies squarely with the young men who attacked this girl and their friends who watched and let it happen.  Unfortunately, we live in a society that is raising our kids to believe that the best defense IS an excuse.

A 7th grader refuses to do anything the teacher asks the class to do.  He won’t open a book, take out a piece of paper, or even fill out a test.  The child’s father calls up the teacher and blames her for not being a good enough teacher.

During a math class, a teacher catches a 12 year old writing a rap song instead of following the instructions given.  The child gets reprimanded and later is heard saying he’d like to stick (stab) the teacher.  The child’s mother is mad because the teacher stifled her child’s creativity.

A child who does poorly in school is almost automatically assumed to have something wrong.  It can’t possibly be because the child is simply not motivated to do the work.  No, it’s not the child’s fault, it’s some outside force.  ADD and ADHD is apparently so prevalent now that I’m surprised the human race is still around.

We don’t punish our children when they do something wrong any more.  Instead, we use positive and negative reinforcement.  What is negative reinforcement.  Typically it is removing the child from the situation that is causing the problem.  We put them in time out as young children.  We suspend them from school as young people.  Do the consequences fit the situation.  I don’t know, but I do know that repeated suspensions at the middle school level is common and doesn’t seem to have any long term effects.  Am I advocating school spanking.  Actually, I’m afraid I am.  It’s not what I want, but the child who gets ISS (In School Suspension) still saunters around the school.  The tough guy who is seen crying isn’t nearly as cool. 

Well, what about positive reinforcement.  If a child does something good, they’re rewarded which makes them continue to do good.  But what about the young child who isn’t so good?  The ones who don’t work for their reward?  Hey, they’re rewarded too.  Think about little leagues.  There are no winners and losers.  Everyone gets a trophy at the end of the season no matter how much effort they put into the game.  We want our kids to feel good about themselves no matter what.  At birthday parties games may be played, but everyone gets a prize whether they’ve earned it or not.  The kid who throws a fit gets the same party favor as the one who behaves the best. 

Two of the most popular children’s shows today are adding to this same mentality.  They tell our children that they are perfect just the way they are.  That they are loved no matter what.  Well, a parent may have to feel that way but the rest of us do not.  No one is perfect and everyone has to earn love and respect.  We can’t keep telling our children that no matter who they are and what they do, they deserve a reward.  The young child who fails at something should learn from the failure not be excused from it.  The kid who screws up should pay for the screw up and learn about consequences. 

I’m not saying that the young men who raped and brutalized the 15 year old girl did so because of Barney the Purple dinosaur.  What I am saying is that we are raising kids in this society who believe that feeling good about themselves, and being happy is their God given right, no matter what they do.  If they mess up, it’s not really their fault.  As a society we might be able to get away with this in the very young child but what about the young adult those children become?

Teen Sex

June 21, 2009

Sex is a natural process that every animal is driven by in order for the species to survive.  This is one of the reasons why teen sex is so prevalent.  That drive can make teen sex difficult to refrain from, especially for teenage boys.  They can become obsessed with thoughts of sex, and emotions can be completely out of the picture.  The same is not always true for girls.  Girls tend to see sex as a form of commitment and love.   This difference can and does lead to a lot of pain, anguish, and feelings of low self esteem, especially in young girls.

Whether we want to admit it or not, there is a different standard for boys and girls where sex is concerned.  A boy with experience may be seen as acceptable.  A girl with a lot of experience is seen very differently.  Think about the slang words used for boys who are experienced; stud, stallion, player, they are all words with a positive connotation.  Now, think about what a girl with a lot of experience might be called; slut, whore, tramp; all words with a very negative connotation.  Teenage boys might appreciate being label one of the slang words attributed to them, but I can’t imagine any teenage girl feeling the same about the slang associated with them.

So many teenage girls have self esteem problems.  For some, sex becomes a way of proving their worth.  Girls associate sex with the word “love”.  They assume that teenage boys have those same feelings.  That may be true in some cases, but by no means most.  A teenage girl may believe that if a guy wants to have sex with them, then the guy must have feelings of love for them.  If someone loves them, then they are worthy, good, popular, etc.  The teenage boy can see it very differently.  They may simply see an opportunity to do something they want.  The feelings and emotions of the teenage girl may only be a means to an end for the teenage boy.  Those feelings become a lot less important after the boy gets what he wants.  When that happens, the teenage boy will move on to “new” territory.  Leaving the girl to feel like they weren’t good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, or that they failed somehow.  An ugly and painful cycle can then start for the girl.  Her self worth can become even lower than before.  Finding someone who loves them becomes even more important and since sex is associated with love, then they have sex with a new boy.  If this happens over and over again, the girls since of self worth takes a beating.  Everyone she’s ever “been” with has left her.  She is a total failure, and now her reputation is shattered too.  Remember those slang words?  They become a description of who a young girl is.

The above scenario doesn’t have to be the case, but I’m afraid that it happens way too often.  There are so many different problems with teen sex; STD’s, teen pregnancy, long term physical and psychological damage.  Unfortunately, most of these things are most detrimental to the young teenage girl, and the girl is the one with the most power to control what happens to them.  Girls, you do have the ability to control how people see you, and who you become.  In order to do that, you have to understand the consequences of your actions.  Realize that sex is a physical drive that really doesn’t have to have any emotional connections for the teenage boy.  Realize that teenage sex with multiple partners can have both short and long term effects on you physically and psychologically.  Girls, know that it’s not your job to solve a guy’s problems through sex.  Instead, your biggest responsibility is making yourself happy, and finding yourself labeled in a derogatory way is NOT going to make you happy.  Finally, it’s never too late to become the person you want to be.  Don’t let sex become a part of who you are, and if you feel it already has, then know that you have the ability to take it out of the picture.

I wanted to die

May 26, 2009

Have you had one of those moments yet where you do something so stupid that you wish you could find a hole to crawl into and never come out?  Has your mouth started working before your brain and you’ve said something that makes you feel like a complete moron?  Well, if nothing like this has happened to you yet then you’re lucky but, be prepared, it will.

I was in 7th grade in a Spanish class that was full of some of the most popular and mean kids at my school.  I was a little over weight, and very shy.  Spanish class was right after PE and we had been outside playing so I’d taken a shower before going to my next class.  What I had forgotten to do was put on deodorant.  Now, my mother had really pushed the use of deodorant and we’d discussed in health class how the person who stank was the last person to realize it.  So, there I sat, surrounded by all these “beautiful” people, knowing that every second I waited, would bring me closer to becoming the BO culprit.  I HAD to put on some deodorant before that happened.  I raised my hand, got the teachers attention and explained that I had forgotten something in my PE locker and needed to go get it (I didn’t want to tell her the real reason I needed to go.)  Well, the teacher was a bitch.  She wouldn’t let me go.  Of course, that just made the situation worse.  I just knew that I was going to start smelling up the room in a matter of seconds.  I raised my hand again and this time really tried to convince the teacher that I needed to take care of something in PE.  Again she said “no” and in an act of desperation I begged.  Finally she said “What is the real problem here?”  I whispered “I forgot to put on deodorant.”  People started snickering around me and I heard one of the more popular girls laugh and yell out “What did she say?!”  More students began to laugh and the teacher finally told me to “go!”  I can remember walking into the locker room and wanting to just sit down and cry.  If cell phones had been available I probably would have called my mom and complained of being sick so I could have gone home.  That wasn’t an option though, so I put on my deodorant (hoping I wasn’t too late to prevent BO) and slowly walked back to class.   Walking back into that classroom was the toughest thing I had ever done.  Of course, there were some kids who snickered when I came back in.  I don’t remember ever being teased about the incident again, but I kept “seeing” nasty tags attached to me for quite a while afterwards.  I was never comfortable in the class again, and became even more shy and withdrawn.

There were more times where I embarrassed myself horribly but I had learned something very important that day in class.  No matter how embarrassed or upset something you do makes you feel, you will get over it.  Your peers will get over it even quicker.  You see, they have their own embarrassing moments.  And those moments for them, are way more traumatic than anything that happened to you.  DSC_7579

So, if you have experienced a moment when you wish you were dead because of something you’ve done or said then remember;  Everyone has those moments, and to you, they may seem like the end of your existence as you know it, but to others, they’re just a brief moment in time.

The kid you make fun of; The bully you’re afraid of; The outsider

May 21, 2009

One kid sits in the back of the room. He has no friends. He gets really angry for no reason at all. In the playground he avoids people or if that doesn’t happen he gets into a fight. If the teacher tells him to do something he’s starts cussing and pushes down his desk. He smells bad. No one tries to play with him. No one wants to sit next to him. His peers make fun of him behind his back, and are afraid of him too; he’s the biggest bully they’ve ever come in contact with. He’s mean, angry, and totally alone. He’s in third grade. He’s also the one student I will remember and admire more than any other.

I was volunteering at my child’s elementary school. Her teacher was not able to handle the classroom and I volunteered to help by taking the worst behaved kids out of the classroom and working one on one with them. One child I was not willing to take out was the one I just mentioned, he was way beyond anything I wanted to deal with; shoot, I was afraid of him. Then, one day I was working with the entire class, and noticed the kid (I’ll call him Jake) working really hard at the assigned task. It was a writing assignment and I stood behind him and watched for a few minutes. I was amazed. He was writing at a level way beyond 3rd grade. I stopped him and asked if he would step outside with me. When we got outside, I asked if he would want to come and work with me sometimes and he seemed eager to do so.

We started working together the following week. The two of us went to the library to work the first day I took him out of the classroom. We were working on a writing assignment and things were going great. I was so suprised at how much I liked working with this mean little kid. Then suddenly, he stood up for no apparent reason. He didn’t leave, he simply stood up at the table and continued to write. After just a few seconds, I smelled something foul and realized that he’d had an accident. I was stunned. This was a third grader! What would cause this to happen and why was he acting as if nothing had occurred? I had no clue what to do but decided to act as if nothing was wrong. We continued for several more minutes, with Jake standing the entire time. I talked to his teacher after we got back to the classroom, and she wouldn’t tell me anything that would explain his behavior, so I went to the principal and asked what was going on. The principal was actually very upset that I was allowed to work with Jake at all. She explained that I would need to get his guardian’s permission to work with him again. That evening, Jake’s guardian called me at home.

I was not prepared for what she had to tell me. Jake’s father began sexually molesting him when he was an infant. This continued until he was three years old. The abuse left him with severe physical problems that could not be corrected. The psychological scars were just as extreme if not worse. You see, Jake’s father had taught him that when he let someone else take control, really bad, horribly painful things happened. Jake had had years to learn this. As an infant, he had no resources to fight back with. As he got older though, he grew stronger and he learned that he could fight back. Fighting back was his way of making sure that no one else was ever able to control him like his father had. Those bad things were not going to happen again to little Jake. No one was ever going to control him again. The little boy who had no friends, who got into trouble everyday, who was laughed at and teased, who scared his peers and teacher alike, was the strongest little boy I had ever met! He had survived where so many other would not have. He had learned to live with things that his peers couldn’t even imagine at that age. He was amazing. He was bright, he was tough, he was cute, and he will be in my heart for the rest of my life. He was also the scariest bully most third graders will ever meet.

So, the next time you find yourself in the company of someone who is different than you. Maybe he smells funny, maybe he’s overweight,he’s a mean bully, or a strange loner. Think about Jake before you start passing judgment and/or making fun of him. You don’t know what his life has been like, or what he has had to go through to make him who he is. You don’t have to like him. You may even need to avoid him. But, if you can begin to understand him you will be able to see him in a completely different way. You don’t know who you would have become if his life had been yours.

More family problems

May 20, 2009
  1. Anonymous says:

    sometimes i feel like my mom doesnt love me anymore because she will get mad at me for no reason and it annoys me so much can u give me some advice on what to do to not let her get to me

    she will yell at me because i talk loud because like yesterday we got a new dog a while ago and the dog likes to bite so when my brother is playing around with him he will get bit so i say hey if you play with him like that hes going to bite you imn not trying to yell at him but i guess it sounds like that and she yells at me for it.and if i get a grade like a b on my report card she will say your grades dropped i mean its not like its a d orsomthing yes i know my grades went down but thatdoesnt mean you cant be happy for me all of the rest of my grades are a’s its justso annoying sometimes i even cry in my room because of someof the stuff she does to make me feel unloved

  2. Pam blizzard says:

  3. I believe, without a doubt, that your mother doesn’t mean to make you feel unloved. She may actually see in you some of the things that she believes is wrong with her. You are her greatest creation and she wants you to be the best, and that means even better than she is. I can remember my mother always making me feel like I wasn’t good enough. I would feel like I had done something really great, and she would either put it down, or make it seem unimportant. It got to the point where I expected the criticism no matter what I did. It only occurred to me much later that almost everything I did that disappointed her were the things she never accomplished or did for herself. I don’t believe that her disappointment was really about me at all, it was about her. What made this really hard for me was that I allowed her expectations to become mine, and I ended up always feeling like a failure. You are not suppose to strive to be a better version of your mother; you’re suppose to strive to be a better version of you.
  4. Mothers are more than just parents too. They are people who have to deal with everyday life as adults with a lot of responsibilities. Those responsibilities can become overwhelming. When that happens, it can show up in everything they do. They need to come home and deal with their own problems and stresses. They may feel absolutely exhausted, like they just can’t deal with ONE more thing. They need to be able to just get away from it all in order to replenish their energy. Unfortunately, they may not be able to do that if there is any discord around them. This makes it very easy for them to lash out even when it’s not necessary or appropriate. You need to understand that. At those times, it’s not really about you at all, it’s about them and what they need. Those are real needs too. Imagine having something really upset you. A good friend hurts your feelings and you just can’t let it go. It can affect how you act. When this happens, have you ever said or done something that takes that pain and frustration out on someone else? Did you mean to hurt that person? Could you even stop yourself from taking it out on them? You know that you didn’t really mean to be hurtful, but do the ones you hurt realize that? The same thing can happen to adults. It’s not fair, but if you can see beyond the angry words, it’s not nearly as painful.

More parent problems

May 20, 2009

# anonymous Says:   ms bliz. i am having problems with my parents. i feel like they are hovering every little thing i do. and if i say one cus word n a cell phone it gets taken away. i cant hang out with any of he friends that i want too. they think that every one is a bad influence on me when i am probably a bad infuence sometimes myself . do you have any advice *

pamblizzard Says:  Your job right now is to learn how to become a happy, successful adult. Your parents’ job is to make sure that you learn that. Your parents are simply trying to do the best job that they can. Trust me, they (parents) don’t want to hover and take things away. Your actions make them feel like they have to though. So, it’s up to you to fix the problem and let your parents SEE that you are learning how to take care of yourself. Being friends with someone who is making bad choices is tougher. You can’t fix their problems and your parents don’t want to see you following their example. Finally, I know that being “bad” can sometimes make you feel powerful. Unfortunately, that’s not really power, it’s simply breaking the rules. Power is feeling confident, secure, and happy. You have an amazing chance right now to become that powerful, strong, person. Show your parents that you are working to become that person and your problems will go away.

Mom doesn’t love me

May 16, 2009

# Anonymous Says:  |sometimes i feel like my mom doesn t love me anymore because she will get mad at me for no reason and it annoys me so much can u give me some advice on what to do to not let her get to me *

What does your mom do that makes you feel like she doesn’t love you?

# Anonymous Says:  |  she will yell at me because i talk loud because like yesterday we got a new dog a while ago and the dog likes to bite so when my brother is playing around with him he will get bit so i say hey if you play with him like that hes going to bite you I’m not trying to yell at him but i guess it sounds like that and she yells at me for it.and if i get a grade like a b on my report card she will say your grades dropped i mean its not like its a d or something yes i know my grades went down but that doesn’t mean you cant be happy for me all of the rest of my grades are a’s its just so annoying sometimes i even cry in my room because of some of the stuff she does to make me feel unloved

I believe, without a doubt, that your mother doesn’t mean to make you feel unloved. She may actually see in you some of the things that she believes is wrong with her. You are her greatest creation and she wants you to be the best, and that means even better than she is.

I can remember my mother always making me feel like I wasn’t good enough. I would feel like I had done something really great, and she would either put it down, or make it seem unimportant. It got to the point where I expected the criticism no matter what I did. It only occurred to me much later that almost everything I did that disappointed her were the things she never accomplished or did for herself. I don’t believe that her disappointment was really about me at all, it was about her. What made this really hard for me was that I allowed her expectations to become mine, and I ended up always feeling like a failure. You are not suppose to strive to be a better version of your mother; you’re suppose to strive to be a better version of you.

Mothers are more than just parents too. They are people who have to deal with everyday life as adults with a lot of responsibilities. Those responsibilities can become overwhelming. When that happens, it can show up in everything they do. They need to come home and deal with their own problems and stresses. They may feel absolutely exhausted, like they just can’t deal with ONE more thing. They need to be able to just get away from it all in order to replenish their energy. Unfortunately, they may not be able to do that if there is any discord around them. This makes it very easy for them to lash out even when it’s not necessary or appropriate. You need to understand that. At those times, it’s not really about you at all, it’s about them and what they need. Those are real needs too. Imagine having something really upset you. A good friend hurts your feelings and you just can’t let it go. It can affect how you act. When this happens, have you ever said or done something that takes that pain and frustration out on someone else? Did you mean to hurt that person? Could you even stop yourself from taking it out on them? You know that you didn’t really mean to be hurtful, but do the ones you hurt realize that? The same thing can happen to adults. It’s not fair, but if you can see beyond the angry words, it’s not nearly as painful.

Teen pregnancy

May 10, 2009

Bristol Palin is making public appearances advocating abstinence for teenagers.  The message is a great one, whether it’s realistic or not.  My problem is with the messenger. While Miss Palin is traveling around spreading her message; Where is her baby?  I can remember being a new mother.  I remember having to sleep when my baby slept and even then having to be ready to jump up at her first cry, since her diaper would be soaking wet and needing changed.  Going to the grocery store was a major production with the constant worry that my baby would decide that it was her time to be miserable, tired, or hungry, and I would end up dealing with a wailing baby the whole time.

Going out and having a good time was even more of a challenge.  Getting dressed up, doing my hair and nails, even taking a shower was more difficult when dealing with an infant at the same time.  And if I did manage to do all of that, I’d have to consider the extra expense of going out.  Dinner and a movie cost a lot all by themselves, now the cost of a babysitter was tacked on.  I’d come home tired and maybe get a few hours sleep before the baby woke up and demanded, with her cries, that I get up and take care of her.  A simple date was not simple any more.

Forget dates, daily life changed radically and it got worse when my baby started getting around on her own.  Suddenly, I couldn’t even go to the bathroom by myself!  If I did manage to sneak in alone and close the door, there was the chance that my sweat child would find her way to the door and scream for me until I finished up (and that was when my husband was watching her.)  My baby became a deciding factor in everything I did.  There were NO exceptions.  Imagine having to take care of a new puppy for several years.  Having to clean up it’s messes, take it out every few hours, replace all the things it destroys or simply lose some favorite possessions.  Then, multiply that by a hundred.  You can’t lock a new baby in a crate and go somewhere, you can’t leave out food for the baby and have it feed itself, you can’t attach a collar and leash and walk outside with you baby.  Again, you have to consider the baby in EVERYTHING you do!  Don’t expect to be able to sit down and watch a TV show without any interruption.  Don’t expect to go hang out with friends at the drop of a hat (the baby may be really cool to your friends for a while but then they’ll realize that having an infant around really crimps their style and those invitations to hang out will stop.)

Having a baby is a commitment that will change your entire life.  Their presence will affect everything you do and have, even the friends you make, the boys you date, and the places you go.  So, if there are things in your life that you are not willing to give up, then consider carefully before you have unprotected sex.  If you hate having someone always telling you what to do, then realize that a baby will be dictating what you can and can not do for the rest of your life.

Bristol Palin’s message is fine, the image she presents is not.  If she presented her message with a baby crying in her lap, with no makeup on, and several breaks for taking care of her child, her message would be much more effective and realistic.  Miss Palin traveling around, making speeches is not a realistic picture of a teenage single parent.

Ask Ms. Bliz

May 9, 2009

DSC_8016At the end of the first page of my blog, you are allowed to view older post. This includes the hello world section. Feel free to go back and post a question under that post or, use this one. I’ll see all your questions and comments no matter which post you chose. I’ve also set the site up to not post a comment until I approve it. If you have a question or problem that you don’t want viewed by others  just let me know.

Free Mother’s day e-cards

May 9, 2009

Hey kids.  To find the free e-cards on Hallmark.com; look on the left hand side of the hallmark homepage, and where it says “I want to send…” select e-card, then “for this occasion…”  select Holidays, and finally “narrow it down to…” select mother’s day.  There will be 3 different types that come up, Classic, Humor, and Cute.  Click on “see more” and a bunch of cards will come up.  Look for the ones that are “FREE”.  Hope you find something fun for your mom.  

Healy after surgery

May 5, 2009

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Substitute teacher

May 4, 2009

Hey guys, substitute teachers have the toughest job in the school.  They don’t know you, they want to do a good job, and they’re not getting paid enough to put up with your bull.  Give them a break.  They wouldn’t be doing this if they didn’t like kids, and didn’t want to help.  If a sub acts mean it’s probably because they have to in order to feel like they’re doing the job they were hired to do.  Again, your actions cause their reaction.  Try to put yourself into their place for a moment.  If you can do this, then treat them the way you would want to be treated in their position.  Being a good student is not a hard thing.  Learning to respect others is an important part of growing up and of taking care of yourself.

Hello world!

April 27, 2009

Hey kids, Let me know what you want to hear.