A New School Year

August 22, 2011

Note:  I could be a little unconventional in the classroom when I was teaching.  I worried that one day I would push my luck too far and manage to get my name in the papers for all the wrong reasons.  I do want to thank all the students I had who let me get away with it (though I still wonder what some of you said behind my back!)  Anyway, I’m going to try to NOT push any limits here.  (I hope the parents out there who read this will appreciate that.)

A new school year is starting in my former district tomorrow.  I’m sure that there are some things you guys (that’s you students) are looking forward to; seeing old friends, getting to wake up early, riding a bus, and of course eating those wonderful school lunches.  You can also look forward to locker combinations that don’t work, carrying 20 lbs. of books and supplies around until your locker combinations do work, putting up with all those first days of school rituals, getting textbooks that are potentially big and scary, and meeting teachers whose sole purpose seems to be to make your life miserable for the next school year.  Oh, and I almost forgot, homework, tests, grades, presentations, and a host of other work.

So I’m trying to be a little funny.  Give me a break.

The thing is, school is a big part of what shapes you, and it’s up to you to make that work for you.  So, to make this simple I’m going to list a few things I think may help:

  1. First off, understand that those boring first day rituals are as big a pain in the — for the teachers as they are for you.
  2. The teachers I started out thinking were going to be the meanest usually ended up being my favorite.
  3. Eventually your locker will work and teachers truly don’t mind helping you.
  4. Most (hopefully all) teachers want you to succeed.
  5. The stranger you’re forced to sit next to could become the best friend you ever have.
  6. The stranger you’re forced to sit next to could become your next big crush.
  7. The book that looked so scary at first will (hopefully) become a lot less intimidating if not enjoyable.
  8. There’s a possibility that you might even experience some things that will make you actually want to learn more.  (Hey, I’m a teacher, I can always hope.)

School can also shape your character in ways that have nothing to do with academics.  That shaping is completely in your hands.  Here are just some of the things you can do to build that character that I’m talking about:

  1. Remember that bullies are pathetic.  A truly strong person doesn’t have to bully.  A person who really feels good about themselves would NEVER bully someone else (they don’t have to.)    If you are friends with a bully let them know just how their actions make them look.  And, if you see someone being bullied let them know that they are the better/stronger person.  STAND UP and be a part of the solution.
  2. Your classroom, desk, cafeteria, and BATHROOMS are there for you.  Don’t screw them up!  I will never understand why some of you think that f-ing with the student bathrooms is cool.  The only people who use them are you guys!  If you’ve got to go, then the last thing you want to see is a toilet with a brand new roll of toilet paper in it, (or any other large object that will prevent flushing.)  You may feel compelled to check out your own poop but seriously, forcing others to see it is just wrong.
  3. Remember that it is in your best interest to make your teachers like you.  (I may piss some adults off with this one but hey, I’m writing this for you students.)  It’s just as important, if not more so, for your teachers to like you as it is for you to like your teachers.  This is truly a good life lesson to learn.  At this time in your life, school is your JOB.  The teacher is in the role of your boss, you the employee.  Learning how to work this system will make it easier to eventually learn how to succeed in your career, or any job you eventually have.  Trust me here.  You WILL have a boss you don’t like.  You will be asked to do things at work that you think are stupid.  Learning how to get through that now is a lot less painful than when you actually are out in the real world (and the consequences are not nearly as hazardous to your wellbeing.)
  4. Finally, getting good grades will make you feel good.  Getting a good grade is like getting a raise.  It can make you feel powerful.  So, work at making good grades not just for your parents and teachers.  Do it for YOU!  Oh, and by good grades I don’t always mean A’s.  Sometimes B’s and even C’s can make you feel pretty good too.  School wouldn’t do you much good if it was all easy.

In the coming year you will experience good and bad times.  You will make new friends and you may lose some old ones (especially you girls.) You will probably fall in love at least once, and possibly get your heart broken or break a heart but don’t worry, you’ll fall in love again.  You may do some things that embarrass you but trust me, you’ll get through it.

Finally: Remember, you are only a teenager for seven short years.  You’ll be an adult for a lot longer.  Don’t screw up now and mess up all the great years you have to come.

Love you guys,
Ms. Bliz

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Teen Suicide

December 10, 2010

 

Would you give up the chance to…?

Make love, to the love of your life, for the first time (I seriously doubt that you’ve met this person yet.)

Be moved by a great song not yet written

Fall in love with the RIGHT person, at the RIGHT time

Have the thrill of driving your first car

Succeed and feel pride like you’ve never felt before

Deposit your first paycheck, or your biggest paycheck

Feel strong and powerful

Be moved to tears of joy at the sight of your newborn child

Taste a new flavor of ice cream that literally competes with an orgasm

Feel the tingle when you first touch someone’s hand that you’ve fallen in love with (give yourself the chance to meet that person)

Have someone thank you for simply being there for them

Walk down the aisle on your wedding day

Watch the love of your life walk down the aisle to meet you on your wedding day

See someone who use to treat you like shit, or simply ignored you, suddenly want to be your friend because you’re stronger, richer, smarter, or better off than they are

Meet the person who will change your life

Live on your own for the first time

Swim with dolphins, rescue a stranger, snorkel over a barrier reef, or be introduced to a new hobby that will bring you so much pleasure

The most important things in your life don’t happen in your youth.  The best times of your life aren’t your teenage years.   That’s the greatest tragedy when a young person commits suicide.  They aren’t escaping pain (that’s already happened), they’re giving up their future, and that future is full of surprises.  Yes, adults go through tough times, but they have enough experience to realize that things NEVER stay the same. 

The bully seems so strong in his youth, but the bullied always end up the strongest because they’ve lived through challenge.  The bully loses his strength with age, the bullied gain their strength with their wisdom.  Don’t give up the chance to realize this.

Live for all the perfect days in your future.  There may be many, there may be few, but every one of them is worth living for. 

Suicide is never painless.

Finally, a new post

December 8, 2010

I haven’t written anything in a while.  Honestly, I’ve had a tough time lately.  I question my skills, my self worth, etc.  For my kids who read this, know that this happens to the adults in your life just like it does some of you at times.  It’s important for you to understand that adults have stages they have to get through (growing doesn’t stop just because you’re an  adult, neither does learning.)  That being said, give your parents a break just like they do for you (probably a lot more than you realize.)  This goes for the teachers you deal with everyday too.

Christmas can be tough on all of us.  It’s not just about presents, it’s about memories too.  So many are recorded in pictures and video, and so many of those memories won’t ever be repeated.  I miss my mom, the friends that always use to get together for the holidays, even the simple pleasure of having “Santa” surprise my kids like “he” did when they were younger.  Fortunately, we are able to create new memories, but as you get older, the holidays change and there will always be things you miss.  Be open to that and understand if your parents sometimes seem to be more “snappy” than usual or morose (sad.)

Your teachers are going through there own stress during the holidays.  They are looking forward to the break as much as you are, and probably dreading the weeks before it more than you can imagine.  kids (sorry, I still think of you as kids even though most of you are too old to be called that) you get a little nutty just before the Christmas break.  Teacher’s for the most part realize that school is low on your priority at this time, but they still have to do their jobs and they want to succeed at it even during the pre-holiday days.  So, try to give them a break, let them know you appreciate them.  It doesn’t have to be a gift (not that we don’t love them) but a hand written note can mean as much as any gift.  

I know, this is a pretty preachy post, especially since I haven’t posted in a while, but like I said, my outlook needs a little preachyness right now so it’s spilling over here.  I’m sorry if I’ve disappointed any of you. 

 I do want you to know that having the chance to teach many of you has added so much to my life and I selfishly hope that some of you can say the same about me.  I miss you guys, and hope that you all have a great Holiday/Christmas.

Evolution, The Reason why “Good” girls go for “Bad” boys?

February 27, 2010

Let me be straight here. What follows is strictly my voice alone. I have worked in middle school and high schools for years, and am always amazed at how so many “good” girls go after the “bad” boys. I can even say that I myself did the same type of thing when I was younger. I’ve become even more curious now that my own children are dating. Then, just a couple of days ago, I was talking to my son about dating and made the comment that young girls tended to like the bad boys who took control, didn’t always do what they wanted, etc. That’s when it occurred to me that maybe girls liked bad boys because of evolution.

Think about it. The bad boy is the one who does what he wants, controls situations, appears tougher, and doesn’t do what other’s tell him to. He’s in control and seems to have power that others don’t. Is this whole phenomenon simply the result of survival of the fittest?

Think about cavemen. The nice Neanderthal, who shared his food and spent a lot of quality time with others, probably didn’t have the most food. Instead, the one who thought more of himself than others most likely spent much more time hunting and stocking up. The neanderthal woman would find herself in a quandary. Do they stick with the nice male who spent more time making them happy than hunting for food, or the selfish male who always had food available but didn’t really care what their females did as long as they didn’t get in their way? The Neanderthal thug who killed everything he saw may have provided the best for those around him. Of course, this doesn’t necessarily make the woman happy but at least she’s full!

Now, let’s look a little closer to home, say a few hundred years ago. The early American male who got sentimental over shooting Bambi probably didn’t have as much to eat as the one who came back covered in blood and boasting about his kills. The man who thought nothing of beating up a rival probably ended up with a lot more than the nice guy. Who could blame a girl for sticking to the one who could provide the best for them. The toughest, meanest guy around probably didn’t have too much trouble with getting what he wanted, and keeping it.

Now, if all of this is true, then todays society has totally screwed up what evolution has created. Young girls who haven’t yet figured this out are therefore still drawn to the “tough” guy, not understanding that the “smart” guy is the best choice in the ‘being able to provide category.’ Sometimes it takes years for the smart girl to finally get past these evolutionary tendencies. So, good guys if you’re feeling like you’re being left out, don’t get too discouraged, eventually the girls will figure it out.

Relationships and the mistakes we make.

February 24, 2010

I believe that one of the hardest things in a relationship is not listening to what the other person says, but understanding what is being said without preconceptions. Our personalities are, at least partially, developed through experience. Those experiences are our’s alone, and though they may be similar to other’s, the way we take them in is unique to us. That was made even more evident to me after I was prescribed a medication that affected my personality. I was having some problems with circulation and nerve pain and my doctor prescribe a medication in the hopes that it would ease some of this. Instead, it only seemed to make me expect the worse. I felt angry and defensive all the time. Simple comments could set me off and then stick with me. After a week of taking this medicine, I called my doctor’s office and asked if I could stop taking the medicine. The nurse told me to stop immediately and went on to say that this was a common side effect. I stopped taking the pills, and within a week was feeling much more like my old self. I wish that I could do the same thing with some of my other emotional hangups just as easily.

My mother pushed me to succeed by throwing my failures in my face constantly. Her expectation were suppose to be my expectations. If my goals did not follow along with her’s, then they weren’t good enough. I accepted what she said literally and began to believe that I was a failure. If I didn’t keep my room clean then I was lazy and I accepted that label as a personal fault, not just as her means of making me do more. I have been over weight most of my life. With the help of our society, this has become a character flaw, not just a lifestyle. The way I internalized it as an over weight child was that I wasn’t good enough. My weight became a factor in how I “heard” others. “Let’s go get a salad.” became “You should just get a salad.” “Are you going to eat all of that?” became; “Please tell me you’re not going to eat all of that.” For a person who had not experienced the emotions I had in being an over weight child, those two statements would be taken in a very different way.

Relationships involve two people with unique life experiences. The way those experiences shape our personalities can undermind the level of success in our relationships with others. A spouse, or someone who is significant in our lives, can say something that hurts our feelings. In so many of those cases, we take it personally and can let it fester. We get angry, feel bad, feel like a failure. Unfortunately we seldom try to explain those feelings, instead, we simply build on them. The person who has said the things that have hurt us may mean something entirely different and as a result are baffled by our reaction. Here are some examples:

“Should we get a half order of potato skins?” May simply be a question, not a reference on how much you eat.

“Let me help.” May be a simple offer, not an indication that the person offering doesn’t think you’re smart enough to do it yourself.

“Let’s go for a walk.” May mean that the person just wants to spend time with you, not that YOU NEED to EXERCISE!

Don’t even get me started with those dating lines!

Ok, I’ve really focused on primarily how girls feel but I’m sure that guys have some of the same issues. But, since I am a girl and I can understand me better than you guys I’m going to add a few more examples:

“Will you do the laundry?” means will you wash, dry, fold, and put up the clothes. I doesn’t mean will you turn on a machine.

When a man says “I did the dishes.” and expects to be rewarded for it. He needs to understand that putting dishes into a dishwasher and leaving all the pans in the sink, does not constitute “doing the dishes.”

“I’ve looked everywhere!” includes moving objects and looking under them.

Okay, I am trying for a laugh here but these types of things can cause a lot of discord in a relationship too. Men may really believe that if they put clothes in the washing machine and start the wash cycle, they are “doing the laundry.” To a man, maybe “dishes” only include plates, and glasses.

We need to get past our reactions by interacting. It’s not always easy and it may not always turn out the way we want, but hopefully we’ll avoid a lot of pain, anger, and low self esteem. And maybe, if we’re really lucky, we’ll learn to respect and accept our differences for what they really are

Healy and his surgery

February 24, 2010

We got Healy as a rescue puppy almost a year ago.  From the start he seemed to have some problems with his gait.  Unfortunately, this past week he had to have surgery on his right hip.  He’s doing great but it cost us a small fortune.  The vet removed the ball in the hip joint.  It sounds horrible but I’m so impress with how he’s doing.  The vet’s office calls him a real trooper.  The vet even thanked us for letting him have the surgery.  I guess a lot of people would have simply let him live in pain or put him down.  He’s too good a dog for us to do that.  He’s still NEVER had an accident in the house.  He’s an excellent watch dog; he’ll bark at anyone coming down our driveway, unfortunately that includes all of us too.

Here’s a couple of pictures of him right after surgery.  The little girl with him is ginger.

Healy one day after surgery

Healy

Is our Society Creating Monsters

November 2, 2009

Are we as a society so busy trying to make our children feel good about themselves that we’re creating monsters?  Last week during a school dance ten or more young men raped and brutalized a 15 year old girl for more than two hours while another dozen or so people watched.  The blame for this brutality is being spread pretty thin.  The school is to blame for not monitoring outside of the dance area.  “Gang mentality” caused these young men to rape and beat this young girl and allowed the others to watch.  Even the young girl herself is to blame since she should not have been there (outside the dance) in the first place.  I am sick of the excuses!  The school didn’t force any of those young men to pull down their pants and rape that girl.  The first guy who attacked her didn’t push the next guy on top of her.  Finally, the kids who stood and watched were not bound by any barriers that stopped them from going for help, or even simply leaving.  No, the blame lies squarely with the young men who attacked this girl and their friends who watched and let it happen.  Unfortunately, we live in a society that is raising our kids to believe that the best defense IS an excuse.

A 7th grader refuses to do anything the teacher asks the class to do.  He won’t open a book, take out a piece of paper, or even fill out a test.  The child’s father calls up the teacher and blames her for not being a good enough teacher.

During a math class, a teacher catches a 12 year old writing a rap song instead of following the instructions given.  The child gets reprimanded and later is heard saying he’d like to stick (stab) the teacher.  The child’s mother is mad because the teacher stifled her child’s creativity.

A child who does poorly in school is almost automatically assumed to have something wrong.  It can’t possibly be because the child is simply not motivated to do the work.  No, it’s not the child’s fault, it’s some outside force.  ADD and ADHD is apparently so prevalent now that I’m surprised the human race is still around.

We don’t punish our children when they do something wrong any more.  Instead, we use positive and negative reinforcement.  What is negative reinforcement.  Typically it is removing the child from the situation that is causing the problem.  We put them in time out as young children.  We suspend them from school as young people.  Do the consequences fit the situation.  I don’t know, but I do know that repeated suspensions at the middle school level is common and doesn’t seem to have any long term effects.  Am I advocating school spanking.  Actually, I’m afraid I am.  It’s not what I want, but the child who gets ISS (In School Suspension) still saunters around the school.  The tough guy who is seen crying isn’t nearly as cool. 

Well, what about positive reinforcement.  If a child does something good, they’re rewarded which makes them continue to do good.  But what about the young child who isn’t so good?  The ones who don’t work for their reward?  Hey, they’re rewarded too.  Think about little leagues.  There are no winners and losers.  Everyone gets a trophy at the end of the season no matter how much effort they put into the game.  We want our kids to feel good about themselves no matter what.  At birthday parties games may be played, but everyone gets a prize whether they’ve earned it or not.  The kid who throws a fit gets the same party favor as the one who behaves the best. 

Two of the most popular children’s shows today are adding to this same mentality.  They tell our children that they are perfect just the way they are.  That they are loved no matter what.  Well, a parent may have to feel that way but the rest of us do not.  No one is perfect and everyone has to earn love and respect.  We can’t keep telling our children that no matter who they are and what they do, they deserve a reward.  The young child who fails at something should learn from the failure not be excused from it.  The kid who screws up should pay for the screw up and learn about consequences. 

I’m not saying that the young men who raped and brutalized the 15 year old girl did so because of Barney the Purple dinosaur.  What I am saying is that we are raising kids in this society who believe that feeling good about themselves, and being happy is their God given right, no matter what they do.  If they mess up, it’s not really their fault.  As a society we might be able to get away with this in the very young child but what about the young adult those children become?

Life Changes

September 14, 2009

My daughter went away to college at the end of the summer.  It was the biggest change of her life.  What has happened since has surprised me, and probably surprised her too.

The girl who left our house was opinionated but insecure.  She depended on us to push her forward.  She needed us to reassure her of her own strengths.  At the same time, she could be judgmental of others without really understanding.  I was afraid that she would get to her new school, and her new home, and become even more insecure and judgmental.  I was prepared for her to find reasons to not like the people she was surrounded by.  I was expecting long phone calls about how she couldn’t do the work she was being asked to do.  She was afraid of the unknown, and I was afraid of what I thought I did know.

What has happened has been something that I never expected.  That became clear on the first night that we left her at her new apartment.  I called just before we got home, expecting her to be anxious and feeling alone.  Instead, she asked if she could call me back later since she was hanging out with her roommates.  Who was this person I was talking to?  I was suppose to tell her that things were all going to be ok, and she was letting me know that SHE was in the middle of making that true without me.  Don’t misunderstand, I wasn’t upset, I was proud.  The very best thing she could have said to me was exactly what she said!  And, it’s gotten better.

She loves her roommates.  They may be very different from her, but that’s ok.  They may do things that she doesn’t do and not do things that she does, and it’s still ok.  I hope they can be friends for a lifetime, and she probably does too.

The first days of classes were daunting.  Riding the shuttle to campus, finding her classes, buying her books, meeting the teachers and sitting in a class with complete strangers.  Again, I expected the worst.  Again, I didn’t know the strength of my daughter.  She thought her teachers were nice.  She felt secure in her own abilities.  Again, I thought “Who is this girl?”  The girl who left my house just a few days earlier was not the person I was talking to on the phone.  Where was the insecurity?  Where were the tears, and doubt, frustration and anger?   Well, remember how I’ve always said that the person you are now will not be the person you are as you grow older?  My own daughter has created that very picture.

Alix is not the same person that left my home a few weeks ago.  The new lifestyle and new people in her life have added to her character, pushed her in new directions, and opened her eyes to things she couldn’t see when her dad and I were always in the background.  She is becoming who she wants to be and not being pressured into being who we want.  We’ve had to give up the control that we thought we had, and she’s taken over without us.  And, that’s a very good thing.

Your life will be full of changes.  Like Alix, you’ll think you know what’s coming and sometimes be afraid but you won’t really understand until you get there.  You’ll meet people who will make you see life through different eyes.  You’ll find your own strength and character.  Some of it you may expect, and some will surprise you beyond what your experience now will let you.  So, don’t give up on yourself.  The things that seem so daunting now won’t even be a memory later.  What you think that you’re lacking will either become unimportant or you’ll find it’s been there all along.  Hey, it’s going to be ok, and maybe even a really great ride.

My summer vacation

August 30, 2009

My summer was pretty relaxing until the very end of it.  I spent a lot of time getting to know the horses.  I managed to piss them off quite a bit too.  I’ve learned that they hate having fly spray sprayed into their faces.  The flies literally get into their eyes, cause them to drain, and then the flies eat the stuff that drains out.  Gross!  Oh, and wasps absolutely terrify them.  That’s the only thing that will keep them away from their food.  I sit with them every evening for about an hour and just watch them interact.  Copa really doesn’t like Yankee, and Ben barely tolerates him.  Poor Yankee’s gotten use to it though.  Surprisingly they all sleep in one of the stalls together.  They love eating grass right after it’s been cut, and Yankee’s the only one not afraid of the riding lawn mower.

Speaking of riding lawn mower; I’ve become the official John Deere lady.  I no longer plow into solid structures with the tractor which of course is good.  I’m getting quite adept at going backwards too.  I did have one small mishap just recently though.  A piece that held up the cutting blades on one side fell off and I didn’t realize it.  That left one side of the blades as low as they would go, and the other side at it’s highest level.  This makes for a very weird cutting pattern.  I had ridges cut all through my yard.  You might ask why I didn’t notice this while I was cutting.  Well, I don’t wear my glasses when I cut the grass and apparently I can’t see worth crap!

My husband had a big surprise for me right before school started.  Remember my big red van.  Well, it’s mine no longer.  While I was gone to a friends little girls birthday party, my husband took my van and traded it in for a Mx5 Miata.  I miss the van but wow is that Miata cool!  It’s bright blue with a convertible hard top, 5 speed transmission, and satellite radio.  The hard top is automatic and takes about 12 seconds to go down or back up.  The satellite radio is AMAZING.  How did I live without it?  It’s the best handling car I’ve ever driven and I use to sell cars, so that’s saying a lot.  So, if you see a blue Miata driving around Valrico, check to see if it’s me.

Alix, my daughter went away to college.  We found her an apartment that she shares with three other girls, right across the street from UCF.  I honestly was really worried about her moving out.  She gets stressed out about everything and she about drove us crazy the week before she left.  She couldn’t sleep, or eat, and she seemed close to tears all the time.   Well, remember how I always talk to you about how much you’re going to change as you get older.  Well, Alix has proven me right.  She’s like a different person since she’s moved out.  She’s proven to be very independent and resourceful where in the past, she’s always depended on us.  I think that she’s actually loving her classes and is bonding with each of her roommates.

Oh, finally, remember how I’ve said in the past that school doesn’t necessarily get harder.  Both Alix and Zach have commented on how easy their classes have been so far.  All of Alix’s classes have internet access and  if she has any problems, all she has to do is look up the answer online.  Zach is taking statistics and guess what he’s studying right now.  Mean, median, and mode.  Sound familiar?  He was laughing about how easy it was.  So, don’t get discourage, and don’t be afraid of classes.  At your stage in school, you build on what you’ve already learned, as much as you will be learning new things.

Good luck guys,

ms bliz

Eating Disorders

August 26, 2009

Have you ever been walking in the woods and you come to a little brook or stream?  The water is flowing peacefully, things are growing along the stream line, the rocks in the water are tumbled and smooth, and the water is crystal clear and cool.  It’s wonderful.  Movies use this type of scene to add romance.  Well, an eating disorder is like having this beautiful stream and then blocking the water to it.  It becomes muddy then dried up, cracked and sad.  The little brook has to have water to feed it, and when the water is taken away, it become dried up and ancient looking.  That is the way a person with an eating disorder can eventually look if they don’t get help or help themselves.

I think that there are several reasons for eating disorders and they begin with a poor self image.  I like the show “What Not To Wear.”  On the show a person gets a makeover from head to toe.  At the end of the show, a young woman shows the person how they should use makeup.  Before she starts, she ask the person being made over to look in the mirror and tell her what they see.  Typically the response is a negative one, like “blotchy skin,” or “a big nose.”  Carmandie, the makeup artist stops them right then and tells them the positive things that she sees in their faces.  She then uses makeup to high light those positives.  The transformations are amazing.  What Carmandie has done is make a person with a poor self image realize that they are pretty.  She didn’t have to do surgery or botox, or any other thing.  She just pushed them to see themselves differently.

A problem with poor self image is that when you look in the mirror, you see a distortion of yourself.  The distortion is caused by something that usually has nothing to do with your appearance.  That means that no matter how much weight you lose, the distortion is still there. You’re still going to be dissatisfied and you can end up doing yourself serious harm.

Anorexia is a condition where you literally drop your calorie intake to a point where your body doesn’t get enough fuel to survive.  Your body, in a desperate effort to function, starts to get the fuel it needs from where ever it can.  Any stored fat is used up first and then other organs are shut down so that the main organs can continue to survive.  If this continues, the condition will eventually cause the person to die.  Now, the beginning of this may sound like a good thing to some of you because getting rid of fat can’t be bad; right?  Actually it can be.  Your body needs fat.  It helps us regulate our body temperature, and many other things.  That’s why our bodies store fat.  Stored fat is also our body’s effort to have reserve fuel in case we need it.  If, you survive anorexia, your body will remember what you’ve done, and store fat even more aggressively.  It literally is trying to protect itself from self destructive behavior.

Bulimia is also an eating disorder.  In this case, the person eats whatever they want, but then throws up to get rid of the calories.  Hey, the best of both worlds; you get to enjoy the food without any of the bad side effects.  WRONG!  The side effects are the same as those of people suffering from anorexia, and there’s one more pretty nasty one.  You see, when you throw up, you’re not just throwing up food, you’re also throwing up stomach acid that is used to break down your food.  That stomach acid breaks down a lot of things including your TEETH!  Your teeth can lose their protective coating and begin to rot away.  The longer this continues, the more damage is done, and the damage can’t be undone.

Eating disorders may begin because a person sees themselves as fat.  It has very little to do with weight very quickly though.  It becomes a control issue.  No one can make you eat.  No one can keep you from throwing up.  Only you can control that.  Unfortunately, that need to control things can end up controlling you.  You find yourself literally not able to eat even if you want to.

Finally, if you really want to lose weight, there are some very simple and satisfying ways to do so.  Weight Watchers is great.  You can start feeling good about yourself very quickly and can even “mess up” without quilt.  Your body can handle this type of dieting without causing long term damage, and you’ll get to keep your teeth.

Having the internet is a great source.  Go online and look at images of people with anorexia and/or bulimia.  Those images are real.  They’re not a distortion like the one you may be seeing when you look in the mirror.

Losing Weight

July 27, 2009

I recently had a comment from a young teen wanting to lose weight.  Here is part of  my reply

The only way that I have ever been able to lose weight and keep it off is by using weight watchers. I do it online and you would have to get your mom to sign up for you because of your age. They don’t let 12 year olds do it. It’s very inexpensive, about $14 a month. You can also join and go to meetings but again, I don’t know if they take anyone as young as you and it is a little more expensive.

If neither one of those work then I do have some suggestions that I use when doing weight watchers. First off, and this is important, I tried not to think about how much weight I needed to lose and focused on the short term. I set a goal of 10 lbs and work on that. I also didn’t cut anything out of my diet. If I wanted a cookie, I ate a cookie; but, I would make myself wait for an hour before I did. What this does is give your mind an hour to possibly get over the craving. Sometimes that happened and other times it did not. Either was ok. Another thing I did was if I wanted to eat something late at night, I would talk myself into waiting and eating it the next morning. That gave me something really good to look forward to. At least once during the week I would eat what ever I wanted as a reward for doing good during the week. Finally, I would eat slowly, and try to eat only half of what I would normally have at a meal. Oh, and I’d drink a lot of water!

As far as exercise, a gym would be great but if you can’t do that then walk, ride a bike, or swim. Now, that was actually as hard for me as cutting down what I ate. I had read up on exercise and so many articles said things like “If you want to lose weight you need to exercise an hour a day, four days a week.” That sounded pretty overwhelming to me. Instead, I figured any exercise was better than none, so I would tell myself; Ok, I’m going to exercise for 15 minutes and if I feel like quitting then I’ll quit. Sometimes I would quit but most of the time I would finish the 15 minutes, and decide that I could keep doing it a little longer, and half the time I would workout close to an hour or more. I got to where I was working out every other day and that made a big difference in how I looked. One more suggestion, get some light hand weights (5 lbs) and when you watch TV, use them during commercials.

Finally, you don’t have to lose all the weight to be able to feel good about yourself. As a matter of fact, as soon as you start losing the weight, you’ll start feeling better. That does two things for you. You lose the first 10 lbs, and you feel like you’re really accomplishing something and you want to keep going. It’s like cleaning the house. Thinking about cleaning the whole house can be pretty overwhelming and I will put if off and never do it; but, if I say to myself, I’m going to clean a bathroom, it’s much easier.

So, try the following:
1. Eat what you want but cut down on the quantity
2. If you have a craving, put off eating it for an hour
3. Drink a lot of water
4. Reward yourself at least once a week
5. Set small goals (six goals to lose 10 lbs will equal 60 lbs.)
6. Exercise as many times as you want for as long as you feel like it at first
7. If you have a craving to eat something late at night, try to wait until the next morning to eat it. That gives you something to look forward to.
8. If you feel like you’ve blown the diet for some reason don’t get too worried. Everyone does it and the ones who succeed, don’t see it as a failure, they see it as an excuse to try harder the next day.

I hope this has given you some ideas. Remember, set small goals so that when you reach that goal, you’ll start feeling good about yourself and your diet. When you feel good about dieting, the dieting gets so much easier.

How’s your summer going?

July 14, 2009

I’m working on my tan.  Learning more about my horses (Yankee is still causing problems, Copa sweats a lot but is still a blast to ride, and Ben is as stubborn as they come.)  I’ve learn to drive a John Deere tractor with only one slight mishap (I ran into the fountain we have in our yard!)  And, for one night and day, I looked like a punk rocker with neon red hair!

What about you?  Learned anything new?  Faced any new challenges?  I miss you guys so keep in touch.

Ms. Bliz

The year 2012

July 14, 2009

Comment for “Ask Ms. Blizzard”

ms bliz i know that it seems kind of stupid to talk about this because it all seems kind of crazy but everywhere on the news people keep talking about how the world is going to end but do you think it could really happen i mean i know its kind of stupid but sometimes i get scared to here that and it seems like they only talk about down here in florida because i went up to north carolina recently and there is absolutley no talk about it up ther but down here its everywhere.So anyway back to the point do you think the world will end in the year 2012

Response:

The year 2012 is significant because it is the year that the Mayan Callendar ends.  The fact that the Mayans had created such a callendar is amazing.  This was an ancient civilization that appears to have understood the passage of time way beyond most people’s imagination.  The accuracy of the callendar astounds scientist today.

The Mayans believed that the world advanced through cycles, (which it does.)  They believed that when one cycle ended, another began.  We celebrate the new year for that very reason.  Every year a new cycle of seasons begins and we look at it as a New Year (we make new year’s resolutions to celebrate that new cycle.)  For the Mayans, the year 2012 just marked the end of one long cycle and the beginning of another one.  They may have believed that that would also bring change, something new, but not necessarily something bad.

What seems to have happened is that some people take this information and are using it to predict what they want to.  It makes news, grabs attention, and can fit into different religious beliefs.  The creators of the callendar simply estimated when one cycle would end and another begin.  Undoubtably, there are people out there who believe that the end of the Mayan Callendar represents the end of life.  This is their opinion and not the opinion of the ancient Mayans.  In turn, they use what they believe to motivate people to buy books, become more religious, or make news.  A book title ” 2012 The end of the World” would sell a lot more copies than one titled “2012 A New Beginning.”

“That Damn Yankee”

June 30, 2009

DSC_5802Some of you may remember me talking about Yankee, our little black quarter horse.  Well, his register name “That Damn Yankee” now seems to be even more appropriate.

When we first got Yankee, we found that he had some rather frightening habits.  I can remember the trainer we used calling me just after we got him and telling me.  “I’m going to kill your horse!”  She wasn’t serious of course, but she was truly upset.  You see, Yankee had some stall issues.  If he was in his stall, and you, or anyone, went in to get him, he would do several things.  He would pin his ears back (a really bad sign), turn his back end to you (an equally bad sign), and then spin around so that his back end was always pointed in your direction (a potential sign or things to come, ie. a good kick in the gut!)  The first time I walked into the stall with him he did the same thing.  I of course, being the person who feels the need to fix things, decided to try some of the “horse whisperers” techniques I’d seen in a movie!  I turned my back to him and stood by the stall door.  I was amazed when it worked.  Yankee turned towards me and eventually let me approach him.  Wow, I’m a miracle worker.  Not really, but it did help me to realize that I didn’t have to be afraid of Yankee no matter how scary he acted.  Mrs. Hernandez can attest to that.  I think she would have dragged me out of Yankee’s stall (if she hadn’t been too afraid) the first time she saw me go in.  What I eventually deduced was that Yankee was trying to hide when a person approached him in the stall, He wasn’t actually turning his back to you in order to kick you, he was turning his face away from you in a effort to disappear, (if he can’t see you, then you must not be able to see him.)

The situation became even worse when our trainer let Yankee out in a paddock.  I arrived at the barn and the first thing the trainer said to me was “Go catch your horse!”  You see, once Yankee was let out of his stall, the last thing he wanted was to go back in!  I could have bribed him with a bucket of carrots and he wouldn’t have gotten close enough for anyone to catch him.  We eventually had to literally corral him into a corner to catch him.  This led to Yankee not being allowed out of his stall unless it was for exercise or riding.

Something had happened to Yankee that made him this way, and it probably happened in a stall.  Maybe he was beaten, or abused in some other way that made him behave this way.  His anger, or fear ended up making his life a lot more restricted than all the other horses at the barn.  He never got to go out and just run, or feel free.

Eventually Yankee seemed to get over the bad habits when we moved him to a new barn.  He was still afraid when someone walked up to him with something in their hands (camera, hat, etc.) but he would go into his stall at feeding time, and he would let you walk into the stall without acting like he was going to try to kick the crap out of you.  DSC_3213

Things got even better when we brought him to our new house.  There were no stalls, and Yankee got to run free with our other two horses.  He became the sweetest animal.  He would be the first horse to come to you.  He’d lick your hand, and follow you around.  Things were going great, until we realized that Yankee was losing weight because Ben, our bully horse, was not allowing Yankee to eat all his feed.

We decided to build a stall for Yankee to eat in.  This would keep Ben from pushing him away from his food.  Yankee could eat in peace.  Unfortunately, it has also brought out Yankee’s bad habits again.  Last night, we went out to feed the horses, and spray them with fly spray to keep the flies from biting them.  (Flies attack a horses eyes, and can cause a lot of pain and problems.)  Yankee would not let us catch him to put the fly spray on.  My husband finally managed to get his arm around Yankees neck (an approach used to halter a horse,) but when he tried to lead him out of the stall, Yankee jerked so hard that he slammed my husband into the stall wall.  It was frightening,  Yankee weighs over 1000 lbs. and can do a lot of damage.  I decided to try to catch him.  I closed the stall door so he couldn’t get out and tried to approach him.  He turned his back to me.  This continued for several minutes.  I finally started purposely trying to shoe him away from me.  I stood along his side, and waved my arms at him.  We ended up going around in a comical circle for quite a while.  After this went on for several minutes, I simply stopped following him around.  This surprised Yankee, and he stopped spinning and turned to look at me.  It was then that he allowed me to approach him and attach a lead rope.

The lead rope seemed to be the key because Yankee allowed me to walk him out of the stall.  Our problems weren’t over though.  As soon as Jim (my husband) started to spray him with the fly spray, Yankee tried to bolt, jerking the lead rope almost out of my hand.  I was able to hold him but at the expense of some considerable pain in my hand.

Afterwards, Jim and I talked about what had happened.  He told me that when I was in the stall alone with him.  He was imagining how he would get me out if Yankee attacked and hurt me.  He was seriously afraid for me.  I think that Jim is very close to being ready to get rid of Yankee.  I have a hard time thinking about that.  What might happen to this sweet horse if he gets into the hands of someone who thinks that beating a horse is the way to make a horse behave.  Believe me, there are many people out there that would do exactly that.

Yankee definitely has some serious issues.  Where those issues started I can only assume.  Unfortunately, the habits he has developed as a result of those issues, may become his biggest down fall.  Jim and I were really trying to help him last night with the fly spray, but Yankee’s fear and anger almost kept us from doing that.  That same fear and anger may force us to give him up.  Something I really don’t want to have to do. DSC_3232

Kids, the same type of thing can happen to some of you.  Fear and anger can lead to some very bad habits.  Those habits can keep you from some of the good things that might come.  We were trying to help Yankee, make his life better, but he was too afraid/angry to let us.  I’ve seen that same thing in some of you.  You won’t listen even when someone is trying to make things easier for you.  You don’t trust adults enough to let them lead you in a positive direction.  Your anger, fear, and bad habits push away the very people who could do you the most good.  Most adults want to help make your life the best it can be.  Give us the chance to do that.

Michael Jackson

June 27, 2009

I can’t begin to fully understand the childhood of Michael Jackson, but I can imagine what it might have been like.  I picture a very young boy with amazing highs and terrible lows.  There would have been times when he felt like he was on top of the world, and times when he felt like he was stuck alone in a locked closet.

I grew up with Michael Jackson.  Now don’t misunderstand me, I didn’t personally know him, I was born just a few months before him, and grew up during the same time.  I would have never been allowed to invite him to my home.  Two things would have kept me from having him over; one of course would have been his fame, the other unfortunately would have been the fact that he was black.  In the 60’s, at least in the south, blacks and whites did not have much of a social interaction.    Was it the same where Michael lived and worked?  Was it ok for him to make money for a group of white men, but not ok for him to go to their kid’s birthday party?  Every child has limitations on the friends they make because of where they live, and their social status.  How limited was the young Michael Jackson?  Could he have realistically had any real friends?

I imagine that a pop star has to stay in the spotlight to maintain his or her status in that world.  It’s a competitive market and hard work, constant traveling, and overwhelming pressure must be all a part of daily life.  Michael Jackson was in elementary school when he was immersed in that life.  He once said in an interview that he loved performing.  He was the center of his world when he performed.  Thousands of people wanted to be with him, touch him, be a part of his life.  It’s no wonder he felt on top of the world.  But, what about when he wasn’t performing.  He still had to work.  He still had to practice, record, learn new things.  Who was sharing that time with him?

Michael Jackson lived an adult life before he had the chance to learn how to be an adult.  He didn’t have the opportunity to be a child, and being a child is how you learn how to be an adult.  That’s the time you learn how to interact with others.  It’s when you learn what works and doesn’t work in social situations.  Mistakes are constantly made by children and the lessons learned during childhood are very important.  They are also excusable.  A child can make a bad choice, and the only excuse he or she needs is that they’re too young to understand their actions.  Michael Jackson didn’t get the chance to learn those childhood lessons, at least not during his younger years.

It seems pretty clear that Michael tried to become the child he was never allowed to be after he was old enough to control the life he lived.  He created Neverland.  A place where kids would, and to some extent did, enjoy being.  He was able to finally play with kids.  Unfortunately, kids playing with kids is seen as perfectly acceptable, even good for them.  An adult man playing with kids (with the adult acting like a kid) is not.  Sleepovers are always suspect.  Two ten year old boys sleeping in the same bed during a sleepover is perfectly normal.  A man and a ten year old sleeping in the same bed is taboo.  A ten year old boy who can’t wait to get outside and play with his friends is normal.  A man who can’t wait to get out and play with a group of children is seen as disturbed.  No matter how hard he might have tried, Michael Jackson could not relive the childhood he missed.

If, Michaels interactions with children when he was an adult was as innocent as he professed, then I can only imagine the horror and pain he must have gone through when he was accused of so many ugly things.  If, as an adult, he finally became the child he was never allowed to be, then the world’s reaction to his actions was totally unfair and cruel.  He was attacked for things that would seem normal in a child.  He was targeted for things that any child could have done.  Did he finally get to experience childhood, only to have the world, who had once idolized him,  make him some type of monster?

Teen Sex

June 21, 2009

Sex is a natural process that every animal is driven by in order for the species to survive.  This is one of the reasons why teen sex is so prevalent.  That drive can make teen sex difficult to refrain from, especially for teenage boys.  They can become obsessed with thoughts of sex, and emotions can be completely out of the picture.  The same is not always true for girls.  Girls tend to see sex as a form of commitment and love.   This difference can and does lead to a lot of pain, anguish, and feelings of low self esteem, especially in young girls.

Whether we want to admit it or not, there is a different standard for boys and girls where sex is concerned.  A boy with experience may be seen as acceptable.  A girl with a lot of experience is seen very differently.  Think about the slang words used for boys who are experienced; stud, stallion, player, they are all words with a positive connotation.  Now, think about what a girl with a lot of experience might be called; slut, whore, tramp; all words with a very negative connotation.  Teenage boys might appreciate being label one of the slang words attributed to them, but I can’t imagine any teenage girl feeling the same about the slang associated with them.

So many teenage girls have self esteem problems.  For some, sex becomes a way of proving their worth.  Girls associate sex with the word “love”.  They assume that teenage boys have those same feelings.  That may be true in some cases, but by no means most.  A teenage girl may believe that if a guy wants to have sex with them, then the guy must have feelings of love for them.  If someone loves them, then they are worthy, good, popular, etc.  The teenage boy can see it very differently.  They may simply see an opportunity to do something they want.  The feelings and emotions of the teenage girl may only be a means to an end for the teenage boy.  Those feelings become a lot less important after the boy gets what he wants.  When that happens, the teenage boy will move on to “new” territory.  Leaving the girl to feel like they weren’t good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, or that they failed somehow.  An ugly and painful cycle can then start for the girl.  Her self worth can become even lower than before.  Finding someone who loves them becomes even more important and since sex is associated with love, then they have sex with a new boy.  If this happens over and over again, the girls since of self worth takes a beating.  Everyone she’s ever “been” with has left her.  She is a total failure, and now her reputation is shattered too.  Remember those slang words?  They become a description of who a young girl is.

The above scenario doesn’t have to be the case, but I’m afraid that it happens way too often.  There are so many different problems with teen sex; STD’s, teen pregnancy, long term physical and psychological damage.  Unfortunately, most of these things are most detrimental to the young teenage girl, and the girl is the one with the most power to control what happens to them.  Girls, you do have the ability to control how people see you, and who you become.  In order to do that, you have to understand the consequences of your actions.  Realize that sex is a physical drive that really doesn’t have to have any emotional connections for the teenage boy.  Realize that teenage sex with multiple partners can have both short and long term effects on you physically and psychologically.  Girls, know that it’s not your job to solve a guy’s problems through sex.  Instead, your biggest responsibility is making yourself happy, and finding yourself labeled in a derogatory way is NOT going to make you happy.  Finally, it’s never too late to become the person you want to be.  Don’t let sex become a part of who you are, and if you feel it already has, then know that you have the ability to take it out of the picture.

Another Year Gone

June 6, 2009

2008 03 03 Alix 013I had a really great last few days with you guys!  Hopefully I’ve taught you all a few things.  I know that I have learned a few things from you.  Even old ladies like me have a lot to learn.

Some of you surprised me the last day of school.  You made me feel like I was appreciated and will be remembered, and I can’t thank you enough for that!  Know that I will remember you too, (some more fondly than others:)

I’m counting on you to remember the “life lessons.”  Remember Andy and Wes, and Shelby.  Think before you treat driving like a game, or drugs like a safe choice.  Remember Cameron, don’t make fun of people, or bully people just because they’re different.  You don’t know what has made them that way, and you don’t know who you would be if you had lived their life.

Know that your parents love you even if they don’t act like it sometimes.  Respect them and realize that they are people too with their own problems and worries.  Try not to add too much to those worries.  When you do get into trouble, realize that the getting into trouble was your choice and only you can keep it from happening again.

Finally, remember that you guys are going to change a lot between now and adulthood.  The choices you make now may seem like the right ones at your age, but you may regret them when you are older.  I see the adults you can become.  You need to start “seeing” that person too.  Know that the things you do now are all a part of becoming that adult.  You can have fun, make mistakes, make and lose friends, even live through battles, and pain.  Just remember to learn from those things.  Become the adult you were meant to be.

  1. No matter how bad things seem, they always get better.
  2. Anger is the worst emotion you can hang on to.  It hurts you more than it ever hurts the one you’re angry at.
  3. Don’t expect other people to make you happy.  That’s up to you, so do things that make you feel good about yourself.
  4. Don’t hate someone, instead be glad you’re not them.
  5. Surprise people in you life with kindness.  You’ll get more from that than they do.

I’ll miss you guys!

Teenagers think they know everything

May 30, 2009

DSC_4621People change constantly.  That’s a part of growing and it’s going to happen.  Have you ever watched the show “What Not to Wear”?  In the show, a person is nominated by friends or family for a makeover.  Typically the person is an adult who dresses in a way that is inappropriate for their size, age, or gender.  The show’s two hosts bring the nominated person to New York, and teaches them how to dress in a way that makes them look their best.  This also includes a new hair style and makeup tips.  The transformation in appearance can be amazing.  Over one week, the nominated person can go from looking frumpy to sexy; from older than their age to younger than their age; from over weight to slimmer; from plain to glamorous.  The most surprising change in the person may not be just in their looks though.  In almost every episode the person who goes into the makeover becomes someone very different by the end of the show.  They stand taller, walk differently, behave like a completely different person.  The bar hopper suddenly behaves like a strong, confident woman.  The scary dark goth becomes an approachable, positive woman.  The sloppy guy becomes the man who can handle anything.  It’s truly amazing how much a change in wardrobe and hairstyle can alter how a person sees themselves, and the world they live in.  If this type of experience can change an adult, imagine all the new experiences that teenagers have yet to go through, and how much those experiences will affect their lives and personalities.

As teenagers, you may think that you know who you are.  You know what’s important, what’s good for you.  What you don’t realize is that all of that can change in a moments time.  You meet someone new who becomes so important to you that you want to become the right person for them.  You do something new, and it makes you feel so powerful and strong that your passion’s change.  You may think that you’ve experienced everything but, unless you lock yourself in you room for the rest of your life, you haven’t even come close.  You have a lifetime of experiences yet to go through and those experiences will change who you are, and who you want to become.

I love it when I ask a teenager what they want to be when they grow up, and they proceed to tell me that they’re going to become a professional sports player, a rapper, a rock star, a movie star, etc.  There’s nothing wrong with any of those things.  You just can’t count on any of them happening.  The best teenage athletic can have a minor accident and end any hopes of succeeding in a sport.  The artist that seems to be so much better than all their friends may find themselves just average when compared to a brand new stage full of artist.  I actually saw myself becoming an artist.  I won awards all through my growing up years for my art.  I found out in my second college art class, that I was decent in art, but not even close to being as talented as so many other people.  You see, I hadn’t met any truly gifted artist growing up.  That class forced me to change some of my goals.  Those same types of experiences can and probably will happen to you.  You haven’t met all your competition yet; you haven’t had the opportunity to.

The probability of things changing who you are is one of the reasons that succeeding in school is so important.  Succeeding in school is one of the best ways for you to insure that whoever you decide to be can happen.  It sets the stage for everything else.  The gifted football player won’t even get the chance to play on a professional team if they drop out of school and never even gets to play in front of a recruiter.   The kid who thinks they have everything they could ever want, will find that there is always one more thing they’re missing and, that may not be attainable with the limited resources they have without an education.   Those limited resources are the main reason to keep trying to succeed in school.  An education opens up possibilities.  Without it, a lot of doors you may wish were open to you, will be very firmly closed.

I wanted to die

May 26, 2009

Have you had one of those moments yet where you do something so stupid that you wish you could find a hole to crawl into and never come out?  Has your mouth started working before your brain and you’ve said something that makes you feel like a complete moron?  Well, if nothing like this has happened to you yet then you’re lucky but, be prepared, it will.

I was in 7th grade in a Spanish class that was full of some of the most popular and mean kids at my school.  I was a little over weight, and very shy.  Spanish class was right after PE and we had been outside playing so I’d taken a shower before going to my next class.  What I had forgotten to do was put on deodorant.  Now, my mother had really pushed the use of deodorant and we’d discussed in health class how the person who stank was the last person to realize it.  So, there I sat, surrounded by all these “beautiful” people, knowing that every second I waited, would bring me closer to becoming the BO culprit.  I HAD to put on some deodorant before that happened.  I raised my hand, got the teachers attention and explained that I had forgotten something in my PE locker and needed to go get it (I didn’t want to tell her the real reason I needed to go.)  Well, the teacher was a bitch.  She wouldn’t let me go.  Of course, that just made the situation worse.  I just knew that I was going to start smelling up the room in a matter of seconds.  I raised my hand again and this time really tried to convince the teacher that I needed to take care of something in PE.  Again she said “no” and in an act of desperation I begged.  Finally she said “What is the real problem here?”  I whispered “I forgot to put on deodorant.”  People started snickering around me and I heard one of the more popular girls laugh and yell out “What did she say?!”  More students began to laugh and the teacher finally told me to “go!”  I can remember walking into the locker room and wanting to just sit down and cry.  If cell phones had been available I probably would have called my mom and complained of being sick so I could have gone home.  That wasn’t an option though, so I put on my deodorant (hoping I wasn’t too late to prevent BO) and slowly walked back to class.   Walking back into that classroom was the toughest thing I had ever done.  Of course, there were some kids who snickered when I came back in.  I don’t remember ever being teased about the incident again, but I kept “seeing” nasty tags attached to me for quite a while afterwards.  I was never comfortable in the class again, and became even more shy and withdrawn.

There were more times where I embarrassed myself horribly but I had learned something very important that day in class.  No matter how embarrassed or upset something you do makes you feel, you will get over it.  Your peers will get over it even quicker.  You see, they have their own embarrassing moments.  And those moments for them, are way more traumatic than anything that happened to you.  DSC_7579

So, if you have experienced a moment when you wish you were dead because of something you’ve done or said then remember;  Everyone has those moments, and to you, they may seem like the end of your existence as you know it, but to others, they’re just a brief moment in time.

Then, Now, and Later

May 24, 2009

DSC_6309Think back to when you were in early elementary school.   What got you excited?  Who were the most important people in your life?   What were your favorite foods/games/shows/things?  How did you feel about your parents; the opposite sex; adults?

Now, think about how you feel about all of those same things now.  Are your feelings the same; or have they changed?

You’ve experienced a lot since early elementary school.  You’ve learned that adults aren’t as perfect as they seemed when you were younger.  You’ve found new things to replace your favorites.  And, the opposite sex can cause some really exciting things to happen to your thoughts.  You’ve grown up some.  It’s the way you were made to be.  You’ve met a lot more people; Done a lot of new things; Been let down and brought right back up again.  You’ve done it all!

Not so fast.  What about later?  What about all the new people you’re going to meet when you finish school or go to college?  Will they affect the way you think and feel?  What about the first time you live on your own?  Will you learn new things; Have new fears; Change how you see things?  Of course you will, it’s all a part of growing up.

The person you were as a child is very different than the person you are as a teenager.  The same holds true for adulthood.  It all depends on your experiences, the people you meet, the things you try, and the things you learn (and not just in school.)  Life experiences don’t come to a screeching halt when you become a teenager.  You just see things differently.

The little kid who always wants to please may become the angry teen who thinks they know everything.  The smart little boy may become the too cool for school high school stud.  The little girl who has lots of elementary school friends, may become the moody loner in high school.  The silly little girl may become the high school prom queen.  Who you become depends on so many things you experiences.  And as a teenagers, you’ve only experienced a very small part of what life is really about.

The high school football star may find them self as a nobody as an adult.  The prom queen may become a divorced mother who feels alone in the world.  The loner may become the most popular person at their job.  The high school stud may finally realize that partying too much eventually leads to a beer gut and a lonely life.

As a teenager, you really don’t know who you’re going to want to be as an adult.  Unfortunately, you can do things as a teenager that will alter just that.  A teenager who has a baby does not become the adult they would have if they hadn’t gotten pregnant.  The kid who decides that driving a car is like a game, won’t become the adult they might have if the game they played in a car with their friends, ends up killing someone.  The teen who drops out of school will not become the adult they might have become if they stayed in school.  Think about this.  You are a teenager for seven years of your life.  You’re an adult for a lot longer than that.